Wednesday Morning News

Today I found out that my ex boyfriend whom I broke up with in January is married. Hum its March right? I honestly don’t even know how to feel about it. I hadn’t missed him prior to find this out. I still don’t miss him. Its more than that I think. I used to be in Love with him. I’ll always care for him, just the kind of person I am. I think if you truly love someone you will forever love them in one way or another, deep inside. If you don’t, it was never really love. 

But he’s married. He “eloped” with the same girl he once told me I had nothing to worry about. Oh the irony. 

I feel like I am Chuck from the movie “Good luck Chuck”. Its a movie about a guy who every time he sleeps with a woman she immediately finds her soul mate.

He’s the second ex of mine who marries the girl right after me. 

Maybe its me? I am so quick to find faults in guys I date but maybe Ive been the problem all along! Lol 

I don’t know. I am not even looking to find my soul mate yet. Im only 22. But the news did hurt me and I don’t even know why. 

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I don’t want to be loved today.

No one wakes up each morning and says “I don’t want to be loved today” “I don’t want to fall in love today” But a lot of times thats how we act.

I smile to a stranger and you can see the horror in their face, I must want something. 

Why can’t I go up to a random boy and start up a conversation with him without him thinking I’m attracted to him. Why must i have a hidden agenda? Is it so bad for people to want to interact with strangers? 

I know its not always the case. I know some people smile back and some crazy ones even say hello. They must be sociopaths.  

Have you ever seen a hobo on our the street with a sign that says “SMILE” or “Have a good day” ?They don’t ask for money or food, yet they may not have either. How content with your life do you have to be to have nothing yet ask for nothing. If only we could all have the amount of love they have in their hearts. If only we could all be content with what we have. The world would be a happier place. 

Next time you’re walking down the street or are with a stranger in an elevator or whatever the case may be,  keep in mind they woke up to be loved today, even if by a stranger. 

Dear Mr. Right,

Dear Mr. Right,

I think I failed you. What if you were it? People always say that when you find the one it will be perfect timing for the both of you. But will it? I was damaged when you came. I was lost in my own love life. I was a broken mirror and you cut yourself trying to put me back together. You tried so hard. I pushed you away day in and day out. Day in and day out, you were there whether I wanted you to be or not. Then one day some one else caught your attention. Can I blame you? No. Do I regret what I did? No. No because you’re happy now. Is she Mrs. Right for you? She is what you need in your life but you are what I need in mine. So where does that leave me? 

Everyday I told you to leave, to find someone who was ready for you. And everyday you stayed. But as I look around now, you’re with someone who is asking you to stay. I love that. You deserve that.

You told me I would miss you and I laughed. You were right. I miss you. And that is the most selfish thing. 

Dear Mr. Right, I’m still broken.